She announced her abortion via fbk
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
