Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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