Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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