I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
