Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
