I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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