I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
