I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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