I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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