i don't like sucking hair
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
