Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
