so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
