Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
