maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
