Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I checked into jail on foursquare
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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