I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
