I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you win again, gameday.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
