Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
