A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
