if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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