Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
