i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
