I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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