The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
