Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
