3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
COCAINE IS GR8
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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