Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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