Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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