Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
