I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
