Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
