Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
