I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
