Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
