he puts the penis in happiness.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
