i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I am one with the molecules
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
