I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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