You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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