oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
