Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
