Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I supernannyed him into submission
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
