STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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