How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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