Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize