Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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