He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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