grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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