Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
whose ass print is on the piano?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
