You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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