I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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