the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
