he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
