I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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