What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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