it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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