If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
there was a trapeze. enough said
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
