Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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