I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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