I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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